<body> -Green In My World- <body>
laughter the best medicine!
Saturday, May 12, 2007

wow! back to my own self, the happy-go-lucky one. today have tuition(eng). actually should be a boring one but today i laugh alot. due to one of the guys in the class, i was back to my own self. i feel so great. thanks alot. pass few days, i'm busy with my work. i do not seem to be cheerful at all. but today, after the laugh, i feel so much better. anyway today is another slack day for me. i do not wish to study so much, quite tired of studying. then went tuition. after that slack again. watch tv and do none of the homework. maybe tonight i will sleep late and continue doing my tuition homework.

on thurs was a tiring day for me. in the morning, we had pe. really scare me. i was kicking the soccer to my group member and i did not see simin's leg there. so i just it. she falls. but i was so call quick, quickly kneel down and hold her in her arms. i did not know if she did hurt herself. but i was so rough. really sorry simin. but i hurt my arm. that day, my neck can't turn to the left. i think i hurt myself while helping her. anyway is ok, lucky nothing happen to her, if not i will feel bad. simin, i'm really sorry! then in the later afternoon, i had practical trial. i was so slow. everything just did not go on smoothly for me. as my friends are not with me, i feel so lonely. no one to talk to. soon it ended. my pudding did not turn out well. is a failure. so i have to redo the puddding another time. after that i went home. i got baby to follow me. keep following me. i got no choice but to walk fast. anyway is my actual speed. then he can't catch up with me. that's so sad. me pity him, slow down. at the entrance to the interchange, i stop and wait for the two guys. then they went to buy drink and i left them. a close shave. if he really did follow me home, i will really die. but my leg hurts from the quick speed i'm walking. now still pain. all baby's fault. after that i did my homework. till 12 before i turn in. too tired to continue doing.

actually i had been thinking, izzit bad for me to treat baby like this. asking him to wait? i feel bad, but the thing is i do not wish to think about relationship at this time. i do not have time to accompany baby, do not have the mood to talk to him. in class we seldom talk and is like avoiding him. i also do not know what to do. i'm so vexed now. what should i do? i also do not want anything got to do with SG. with them, i do not have the freedom to talk with friends. jus like ah mian, tj and jhomel. now is like a clod war between us. i cant even talk to ah mian. everytime we want to talk, we have to see faces. if not they have to be called dogs. i really hate this. is it that nice to call people dog? why don't your put yourself in their shoes and feel how they feel? i'm pissed off with the behaviour. when will this ever stop? i really this will stop soon and back to the life that i'm able to communicate witth them freely. i really want to see ah mian laughter again. i also want to talk to tj and jhomel again. i want to talk to jhomel again, not only f&n work but all those conversation which we once said. i really long for this day. will i be able to break free from the SG? will i be able to get back my laughter and not loneliness? i will hope this day will come soon.

green is my world @ 8:56 AM