finally the prelim started. i should say finally. i have been studying so hard for this prelim, staying back almost everyday to do a maths paper. and was being wrong. anyway is ok to me. now prelim had started. i need to study extra hard. no more play for me. i need to work towards my goal. somehow i just cant see my goal and cant even feel it. maybe i am just too lack behind. i hope this prelim will be a good start for me to see that i have improve. my mock prelim is a failure and every subject just did not meet my expectation. my a maths too. anyway, i just have to pull my socks real high. have to work extra hard.tuesday was the science practical. hope i did well for that. as my chem practical has not been good from the start but i really hope this chem prelim will score well. as for bio, i forget the labels to the diagram. so hope can score well. then yesterday was the english paper one and two. paper one is still ok for me. i did read some examples before the exam. maybe what i read was just not enough. as for paper two. should i was very disappointed with my performance. i just could not concentrate and the paper was difficult. hope i could at least pass the paper. guess i still have to practice more on my english after the prelim in order to score better in the o-level. as for today, the social studies paper was real good. all the essay question i read came out. i was happy like hell. but the thing is i do not have time to finish. i write till my finger blistered, still cant manage to finish. so have to depend on history to really pull up the marks and get a better score.sometimes i just feel so lonely in my heart. my heart kept crying for no reason. whenever i study i just feel like crying. also do not know why. i hope there will be someone to lend me a should to lean on. to allow me to cry my heart out. is really painful keeping everything inside this small heart of mine. i cant let my mum know if not she will be worried. just like that time when i tell her that i fail my english again and i burst into tears. she got shocked and was afraid i would do something stupid. i really need someone to talk to. to pour my sorrow. i really hate the way i am at now. with the high expectation i give myself, i really cant take it. if i let myself lose, i will not achieve what i want. if i did not let go, i will become crazy. so what should i do? green is my world @ 2:11 AM
mon was a horrible day for me. as your shoud know is getting back of mother tongue o-level result. and can also predict why i say is a horrible day bahx! is really a sad thing that i cant even get a b3. everyone drop into tears. seeing everyone cried i told myslef not to. i control. and just remain silent. but when i saw xl and talking to the teachers. i just cant control it. tears flow down slowly. but lucky did not cry that adly. anyway i still have another chance. this result i got will be a remindr to work even harder. this is to tell me that my hard work are just not enough and that i still need to work extra hard. so from now onward, i have to start work hard. no more tv for me. and i will not touch my phone so often. i will have to control myself. studies should come first. everything will come next. to weiren:please stop msging me. i'm getting irritated. as i have said i do not wish to reply any msg. and please do not msg me anymore. i'm tired of this. i need a rest from all this. i do not want to be your kor too. please do not caome and disturb me. as i said, i do not know you. and i also do not know why i give you my number. so hope you understand. do not msg me le...on friday, it was raining so heavily. we thought ofplaying soccer but it was raining too heavily. then we also skip maths paper. felt so tired. so we went to the library to collect the paper and we take it home. as the rain start to lessen, we start to have some hope. we went to play soccer again. so nice to kick the ball. felt relax a little. play with xt, dan, xl and yuhang. after that came penshah. both two guys are so cute. anyway penshah did not play long. then left us again. we play at the field and yuhang had to go after the ball most of the time. but is quite fun even though there's so little of us. after that, i stop halfway and went to amk hub with hasyimah in searching for a new wallet. so little choice and i just went there not buying anything. but as i left school. saw andrew. xl so jealous did not manage to see him. so my friday just went like this with me studying till 11.30pm then sleep. ytd, went out with hasyimah. she want to buy something and i want to buy a wallet. so we went to bugis after our lesson. i went to first shop and bought the wallet. do not have much choice so just bought it. at first i want to buy another one. but then i ask the person to help me chooce which is better for me. end up hasyimah chooce for me. she choose an orange wallet. actually quite nice. but do not have extra. do not have a new one. so the person ask if white can or not or red. so hasyimah choose and i bought the white one. i forget i need to bring to school. later become black. anyway buy le. cant change. so just make sure i keep it well.does anyone know if there's a remedy to stay up late at night? i need it. i want to study through the night these few days to study for my prelim. i do not have much time left.
my new wallet green is my world @ 6:27 PM
wow! was having fun yesterday at bishan park. i was meeting ester on my way there. she look so cool with that sunglasses. but a little big for her. meet her after the zhs stop. talk on the bus till we reach bishan park. first time taking 133 to bishan park so kind of lost direction. then the ester keep talking. make me so blur. so i say is the big field she say not. so we continue walking and look around. end up i know we were heading the wrong direction. ester start her story again. " dunno why this day so many people like to kidnap me." then she shout "wendy want to kidnap me." wow me so piaseh. then she suggest asking the gardener but i insist as i also do not know where we should be. we say meet at bishan park 2 and indeed we are at park 2 so there is no need to ask. we walk back and this time round i can confirm is the place we should be. we walk right onto the grass patch. hasyimah was late so we walk when later xianglin called ester. she ask where we are. ester start her dancing. as xianglin could not see us, ester went to dance on the patch. so embarrassed. lucky no one was looking. end up we aw xianglin and walk toward the tree. then wait for hasyimah to reach. then ester start her story about me wanting to kidnap her. i'm innocent. then we went to look for the rental shop. it was not open. the board says 8am-8pm. but when we reach that time was 10.30am and the shop was not open. so we went walking. saw a playground on the way and started playing. we play the slide, the spider web and the swing. then take photo.( too bad dun have photo to show) after that xianglin suggest going back to the rental shop to check it out. the shop was open but it only rent out the bicycle and not the blades. so we have to wait. the uncle say 12 will open but still have not open. he called us to eat and drink. we did and still the person had not come. as we were bored, we went to borrow soccer ball from the uncle and we played in the private skaters area. the place was filled with berries. i also do not know what is it. looked disgusting. so we play under the hot sun and bare-footed. the ball was hard. i kick so hard that my toe nail drop off. i did not car and continue playing. but the second time, the whole nail drop and was bleeding. i had no choice but to stop. so pain. this is a reminder for me not to play without shoes. lucky hasyimah has plaster. so i bandage it. we waited for a long time and the shop still have not oen. finally the person came. by then we have no mood to play. saw the rental price we also tired. so we went off. went to have lunch at the hawker centre. eat till very full. after that, pass by a stationery shop. ester saw the car and wanted to buy it. then xianglin saw the bball also want to buy. end up both bought it. so nice. actually going out with ester is very relax. do not really need to think of the effects. unlike going out with my friends. after that went home. bet they are playing on the toys. (for more details, can go to ester blog and have a look)todae is a quiet day form. no kids was at my grandma house. i can study quietly. so great. first time like this. but i did not study much. i was so tired. i want to have some fun but no one is willing to entertain me. so i just continue with my revision. so i do esay. t four, went for tuition till 6.30pm. actually have lots of fun there. we talk non-stop due to the atmosphere. is was so quiet so we 3 girls went to say the guys and started the fun. we had oral practice. their oral was all next week. mine had to wait. till next next week then have. so i'm the last person from that group. anyway is ok. i can ask for private oral with mr mohan. then went for the nationa dy dinner with my grandma. i hate this kind of stuff. go there do nothing. really damn bored. but lucky i have weiren to accompany me. he msg and we chat via msging. though i reply a little slow, we still chat freely and happily. so nice. actually we just met for a year. i do not know him. never see his face before. but we hit off quite well. is the first time. just wondering how he look like. then he msg to ask what kind of things i like and the food i like. followed by what is my hobbies. so i reply. is a little weird when he ask this kind of thing. anyway i do not give a damn. treating me like friends. then i ask him to be my god brother. he did not say anything. followed by a shocking msg. i was totally not prepared for. so i beat about the bush. hope he do not mind. anyway i really like his entertainment. like i say everything will only take place after my o-level. i do no want anything happen to hurt me. i do not want things to be like when i was taking the written paper for the chinese o-level. i do not want anything to happen and get the results which i hate. i want a peaceful life. hope you will understand me.chinese o-level result will be out soon. i'm so scared. guess how i will be tomorrow night? i think i cant sleep. have to be owl. green is my world @ 9:00 AM
wow! yesterday had been exercising the wole day. early in the morning, the school organised a cross-country run. this time round is at bishan park. at first i do not want tot run but see levina and xl runing. my leg itch and join in. but was rather sad. i cant run with them. so i run myself. taking my time to run. and eventually finishes the run. the sun was blazing hot. when the whole run was over, the whole scholl had to see under the sun for the national day speech and the prize giving. my head hurts like hell yesterday. after the run went to eat. eat till so full. at first want to go cycling or roller blading but we went to eat first and the whole thing was given a miss. anyway is ok for me. then xl and i went walking around at bishan. very tired also but still ok. then xl went to orchard and i went back home. when i got home my sis ask if want to go swim. i agree and go swimming. swam for bout 2 hrs. yesterday the pool was flooded with people. alot of family went for a swim. anyway yesterday really exercise alot. first like like this. after the swim, i was not at all tired. i still want go play. but no one want to entertain me. everyone want to sleep. so i follow suit. this holiday is really long. i have till mon before school resume. so have to spend this days doing my revisons. cant afford to slack anymore. prelim is coming so have to work hard. at first want to slack but see that pile of books. cant bring myself to slack. so just study for the sake of studying. after O will be free. so just suffer for this 3 months and enjoy for 4 months. mon, 13 aug, will be getting back the chinese o-level result. fearing of getting the result. the chinese paper, i have not been putting my heart and soul into it. i do not know the outcome of the result. kind of scared. my mama ask who will i see crying on mon. i did not say anything. then my sis go and say i will cry. cursing me lor. anyway hope not to retake the exam. so i can only wait till mon for the results. bless me good luck. green is my world @ 7:10 PM
wow! this two days for p.e had been playing soccer. rather nice to play especially when with yuqian they all. they know how to play. but this game damn rough. i haven start kicking they started saying me. really weird. actually i am not violent. do not be mistake. is the way the ball pass to me and that i have to defend it so thats why. if not i am quite gentle with it. sometime i do not even dare to kick the ball. fearing that i may hit them. just like today, during p.e lesson, we play from half field to full field. really tiring. to prevent letting my opponent from getting the ball, i went to kick the ball harder. end up i hurt debby. i hit her twice not once. very bad of me. i felt bad too. then the rest of the game, i was jus kicking the ball like normal. no energy like that. beframe from hitting people again. then in the afternoon, around 3pm, went to play soccer again. at first i do not want to play but was so call force. so end up playing with them. we play with hongfei and shengyang at first. play till so fun. should say not really violent. we play from the field to street soccer court. street soccer court was so much better. smaller and easier to run. score goal too. after that, we went to have a break. then we continue witht the second round. ks and penshah came in. their 2 'child' came too. should say this time round was violent. i was playing against the 2 'child' of their. i went after the ball and was being pushed by them. wow! really very violent. they also kick so hard that the ball hit my leg and arm. bruises i should say. but on the whole i enjoy the game. i really hope to have a second time playing with them. but is kind of difficult with the piling work coming up. prelim are coming and have to study. will not have much time to play with them.also today, we celebrated hasyimah's birthday. we spent a fortune for her birthday. really quite expensive. but since is the last year celebrating, so is ok. really broke this time round. we buy her birthday cake and a bag. she choose the bag so hope she use it well. hahas! the birthday cake was quite big. and i do not like the flavour. is blueberry. anyway still ate 1 piece. after she blew the candles, cut the cake, we started the game. we put cream on her face then the game continue. they make each other. applying cream on people face. damn funny. but is very oily. anyway last time doing this on people. so we did not get angry. instead continue playing with it. so hasyimah, you must be very happy now right. so many people celebrating for you. but too bad, the person you want never celebrate with you. you should have play soccer with us and will have much more fun. anyway, tomorrow is your birthday. hope you have an enjoyable day. play hard tomorrow k. so happy birthday bahx! green is my world @ 4:20 AM
